something to look for

Things are getting better. I am looking forward so something. I am signing up for a mountain guide certification. There are series of lectures + trips. I am really excited for this. The first lecture is on tuesday.  The first trip this or ext week. I am very determined to do it.  And so happy. One of the things I miss the most from the previous life is the outdoors club. I love those people to death. The thought that I could find a similar organization makes me very excited.  

57.9. ITs normal. I loose weight and than I stabilize it but gaining and than loosing a bit more. Normal. 

Edit: Subway. NO not the fastfood chain. Chill. Just a ride on a train. A very particular public place that is a gigantic social experiment. I try to stare at my feet. I hate public transportation. I hate feeling like a part of this grey society. Every day the same. The already realized and accepted their boring, responsible and predictable lives. They will not change the world. I relized but hadn't accepted it yet. I am still fighting with my mind.  I see myself in the refelction of the door. Make up- ok. Body - still fat. I was determined to find 1 attractive guy. I found none. Depressing.

Lectures today where exhausting. I follow the topics tough which makes me happy. There will be an exam in 2 weeks. I need to ace it.