So the pain went away....but I look like a hamster now. Its awful... And I still have another 2 teeth to get rid off.. But its the only way to get braces.. and I need to get them. My teeth are healthy but really ugly. I will never feel beautiful unless I fix them. That is one of the steps on becoming the girl I want to be. The friend that told me I was ugly ( i was stupid enough to ask about my rank on a scale 1-10 after he said a number for some other girl, he gave me a 4, and said i dress wierd. whatever) got a piece of my mind.

Anyways. I recently read Amy's thoughts about her perfect life. I started to think about my own. In my perfect life I am thin, have perfect teeth, skin and I workout every day. I have my own studio or I work for some really amazing architect. I travel. A LOT and have amazing friends. And a best friend (i never had one, sad). I live alone. In a flat but not in the country I was born in because I hate it. I don't need a boy friend. I am okay with being single. But when The right time comes I wont screw it up. I have the perfect wardrobe size 34. Plenty of money. That is my dream life. For now. Priorities change. People change. For now I need to make sure I will get to the weight/beauty part.

I am slowly getting back on a route of restricting. Swollen face really helps.