I wonder if there will be time in my life I will not need to lie.
I wonder if I am a compulsive lier. The only time Iam honest is here.
I lie about everything and to everyone. I lie about food, about myslef , about what I do. I lie to everyone esspecially myself. I wonder if there will be time when I wont need to lie. At all. To anyone.
Truth is I hate to lie. I feel dirty and despicable. But I learned that its the only way to get what I want. At all. So I do it. Daily. I live triple life. Its hard to remember all those lies and suddenly they stick to me like a wet paper towel. Yup. I am a liar.
I lie about feeling fine. About doing stuff and not doing stuff. With every lie my ability to feel bad about it is getting smaller and smaller. I come up with more impecable scenarios.
I am just afraid that when the time come sI wont need to lie... I will not be able to stop.
its hard not to lie when you have the feeling that people will not understand you. I think thats why you can be honest to us and yourself here in your blog. I also lie sometimes, but I realized that surrounding myself with nice people who werent judging me all the time, the lies began to dispel.
ReplyDeleteMe too xx
ReplyDeleteI lie about everything too. To everyone.
ReplyDeletePlease let me know if you ever figure out how to tell the truth all the time.